Thursday, April 28, 2011


very simply very plainly blessed. that's how I feel each and every day when I wake up and answer the calling God gave to me. to be the mother I am, the woman I am. each and everyday I honor God, my children and myself. Each and everyday I thank God for the gift he gave me when he entrusted two of his angels to me.

Thursday, April 21, 2011


Love is a chance. Hate is a curse. Forgiveness is a blessing. Trust is a gift.

I read this today and it tugged at a heart string this morning after a little stressful night. I have been doing so much thinking. Letting things be but I need to make a better laid plan on my future for my children. I tossed and turned laying next to my children last night, trying to find a comfortable spot in the bed I used to share with a man I don't know anymore. Listening to their breaths pull in and push out air. Listening to sweet mumbles in their sleep. The little warm bodies of my babies, the little men I am raising. I kissed them each on their heads taking in the smell of their hair. I thought about their evening. What they were subjected to and the confusion they must feel. What they had for dinner, wishing I could have been the one to have made it for them. My head swirls with things that have been said and things that have been done. Long ago mistakes that I can't help but sit and dwell on sometimes. Mistakes both he and I made. the woulda coulda shoulda of my life carries a haunting sting. I sit whole heatedly and absorb advice I have coming from every angle . Family, long time friends, new found confidants. But its a lonely road that I on and like the song says the high road is hard to find a detour in your new life tell all of your friends goodbye its too late to change your mind, you let laws be your guide.

But as my momma always tells me and my dad... life is not a song. So much like the picture that sits atop this post I have an empty heart , that was once full. Its time to prepare for the fight that will ensue and start coloring my heart happy again.